Apr 28 2009
A Review of Dragonball
Please, don’t hate me. I know that there are a million fanboys out there that are going to tear me a new one for this review. But, I must state my opinions on this anime. So, here’s the usual disclaimer: Be forewarned. There are spoilers in this review!
Dragonball is, undoubtedly, the most popular anime of our times. It was probably what got you started watching anime (either that or Sailor Moon). I can not, for the life of me, figure out why. I’ve never liked this anime. Ever. And I truly mean that. Even when I was ten, and first started watching anime, I hated this anime. Now, I must admit that my early exposure to Dragonball was a dubbed and horribly edited version aired on TV. This meant that the voice acting was possibly the worst I have ever heard. But then, I heard Goku’s real voice. I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably until I vomited. Goku, this big strong Saiyan sent to destroy the earth, had this horribly whiny, girly voice. I couldn’t believe it. And to make matters worse, none of the other characters were any better. And so, I went back to the dubbed version simply because the voice acting was actually BETTER than the original Japanese. Please note: This is the only time I have believed this to be true.
So, stepping away from trivial things like voice acting, what makes Dragonball, a good anime? Well, for starters, there’s lots of explosions. And, as we all know, big powerful explosions make everything better. And, of course, the girls. Although unattractive compared to other female co-stars (like Orihime, Sakura, Maj. Kusanagi, Lina Inverse (despite her lack of chest), and all of the Sailor Scouts), fanboys still flocked to the females of Dragonball. The amount of Bulma pr0n on the interwebs is living proof to this.
Is that all? Really? Ok. So, what makes it a bad anime? Everything else. Ok. So, this alien comes to destroy earth, but then he crashes and forgets who is and what he’s doing here. So, he ends up being raised by an old martial arts master who tells him he’s his grandfather. Then, he meets the girl named Bulma and they go in search of the seven Dragonballs. Why? Who knows. Along the way, they meet a bunch of unrelated characters that the story will later do its best to incorporate and, for other unknown reasons, decide to fight in a martial arts tournament. Eventually, Goku grows up and meets his brother Raditz who tells him that he’s an alien sent to destroy the earth. After refusing to help complete his original mission, he fights Raditz and eventually wins. Then, for more unknown reasons, it seems that every creature in the universe comes tokill Goku. He fights Vegeta and wins. He fights Frieza and wins. He fights Cell and dies, but eventually comes back to life. His son, Gohan, fights Cell and wins. Then, he fights Buu and wins, but Buu is actually only one half of the Buu entity and the good Buu moves in with them. Finally, he fights the reincarnation of Evil Buu, named Uub (wtf?) and eventually decides to train Uub as his successor (after Gohan).
Seriously? That’s a story? A bunch of guys want to fight Goku? How much simpler can you get while maintaining the semblance of a story? Ultimately, the protagonists go through an unending cycle of fighting, winning, losing, learning important lessons, then returning to the fight. Even in subsequent series, no matter how strong Goku and his companions become, there is always something bigger just over the horizon. Which, to be fair, is true for most shounen anime, including one of my favorites (Bleach).
